Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No.. Quotes

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn't it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn't it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn't it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"

"The sunset faded and blended from pink to peach to mango in a smoothie in the sky. For as long as she doesn't love me, I will love her."

"The sunset faded and blended from pink to peach to mango in a smoothie in the sky. For as long as she doesn't love me, I will love her."

"The sunset faded and blended from pink to peach to mango in a smoothie in the sky. For as long as she doesn't love me, I will love her."

"Love is something to be treated with awe. Or should it be aww? People don't know my capacity for love. If you tried to bottle it up, I'm sure it would take at least three thermoses to contain it. And if it did get contained, would you drink my love black, or would you add cream and sugar?"

"Love is something to be treated with awe. Or should it be aww? People don't know my capacity for love. If you tried to bottle it up, I'm sure it would take at least three thermoses to contain it. And if it did get contained, would you drink my love black, or would you add cream and sugar?"

"Love means never having to say you're sorry for a minor stab wound."

"Love means never having to say you're sorry for a minor stab wound."

"Leave the cage open. If you love someone, give them a chance to leave. You can always lock them up again should they return to you."

"Leave the cage open. If you love someone, give them a chance to leave. You can always lock them up again should they return to you."

"A poem for Beth: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I didn't know what love meant, until I looked it up in the dictionary."

"A poem for Beth: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I didn't know what love meant, until I looked it up in the dictionary."

"A poem for Beth: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I didn't know what love meant, until I looked it up in the dictionary."

"I define myself and grow as a person through emotional torment, so if you love me, you will inflict as much pain on me as you possibly can."

"I define myself and grow as a person through emotional torment, so if you love me, you will inflict as much pain on me as you possibly can."

"I define myself and grow as a person through emotional torment, so if you love me, you will inflict as much pain on me as you possibly can."

"I'm a romantic. I like cold coffee and orgasms that arrive fifteen minutes after I've put on my clothes and paid the lady."

"I believe the love shared between two people shouldn't be secretly shared with a third. Not even if I am vacationing on the moon, and that third person is my clone."

"I believe the love shared between two people shouldn't be secretly shared with a third. Not even if I am vacationing on the moon, and that third person is my clone."

"The only thing I could love more than you is two of you. And I suppose three."

"The only thing I could love more than you is two of you. And I suppose three."

"Napoleon made war like I make love--from a height of about 68 centimeters. (I wear platform shoes while I'm on my knees)"

"Napoleon made war like I make love--from a height of about 68 centimeters. (I wear platform shoes while I'm on my knees)"

"Napoleon made war like I make love--from a height of about 68 centimeters. (I wear platform shoes while I'm on my knees)"

"Our love was covered in fur, yet I was the only one who wanted to pet it."

"Our love was covered in fur, yet I was the only one who wanted to pet it."

"I am the bathtub of love, but all Agatha ever wanted was a shower."

"I don't need love. I live in a forest. The quiet is my companion. The cold is my warmth. My heart once suffered from frostbite, but I removed and replaced it with a fuel pump."