Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title Quotes

"She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I'd like to make love to."

"She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I'd like to make love to."

"I cut an inch off of every straw I see, just to make the world suck a little less."

"I cut an inch off of every straw I see, just to make the world suck a little less."

"Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers."

"Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers."

"Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers."

"Love will wreck your heart like a derailed train. So choo-choose your partner wisely."

"Love will wreck your heart like a derailed train. So choo-choose your partner wisely."

"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."

"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."

"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."

"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."

"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."

"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."

"She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream."

"The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her like a thousand drops of blood dripping down a dagger."

"The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her like a thousand drops of blood dripping down a dagger."

"The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her like a thousand drops of blood dripping down a dagger."

"Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while 'decorating' my ex girlfriend's front yard."

"Love is like a door knob that I've mistaken for a shower handle, and I'm trying to turn up the heat on our relationship, but the handle won't turn and I've got shampoo in my eyes and my wetsuit is dry and I started crying just as the zookeeper asked me to leave."

"I cried so hard after I put my cat to sleep. I guess I shouldn't have cried so hard, because with all my sobbing, I ended up waking it up."

"I fell in love with her the moment she was late, though neither one of us knew it at the time because she hadn't arrived yet."

"I fell in love with her the moment she was late, though neither one of us knew it at the time because she hadn't arrived yet."

"I fell in love with her the moment she was late, though neither one of us knew it at the time because she hadn't arrived yet."

"I fell in love with her the moment she was late, though neither one of us knew it at the time because she hadn't arrived yet."

"I skimmed the pond scum with a spoon like broth in a soup bowl. Why does everything have to remind me of her?"

"There's truth in only having a bicycle seat. I used to skip class and just hold it out in the hallway. When teachers would ask me what I was doing, I'd hold it up and say, 'Sorry I'm late."

"There's truth in only having a bicycle seat. I used to skip class and just hold it out in the hallway. When teachers would ask me what I was doing, I'd hold it up and say, 'Sorry I'm late."

"My coffee gets increasingly better the more I drink and the closer I come to the bottom of the cup, where all the sugar is. I wonder if life is the same way as we approach the end."